RIP Chuck Norris: Classic “Facts” about the late action icon

Chuck Norris recently passed away at the age of 86.

In the martial arts world he was a six-time undefeated World Professional Middleweight Karate champion from 1968 to 1974. He held high-ranking black belts in multiple disciplines, including Tang Soo Do, Taekwondo, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and Judo. He even founded his own martial arts style, originally known as the Chuck Norris System.

Chuck also had a long an very successful acting career. He first gained major attention playing the villain Colt against Bruce Lee in the 1972 film “The Way of the Dragon”. During the 1980s, he became a top-tier action star with hits like “Missing in Action”, “The Delta Force” and “Lone Wolf McQuade”. From 1993 to 2001, he starred as the principled lawman Cordell Walker in the long-running TV series “
Walker, Texas Ranger”.

In recent times, he became the subject of the online viral “Chuck Norris Facts,” a series of satirical jokes that exaggerated his strength and masculinity.

Here are a list of my personal favourites…

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says it’s beef, then it’s beef.

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.

Chuck Norris doesn’t worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on fear.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris doesn’t dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone.

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell he wants.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.

Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”